(Image via gagaoverbabies.blogspot.com)
As I sit here, holding your perfect little 9lb 1oz body, a million thoughts run through my mind: “Holy cow- he’s mine!” “You seem so small, but 9lbs is big- isn’t it?” “I’m a mom! Wait- I’m a MOM?” “How am I going to do this? I can’t even keep a plant alive.” And then you yawn and stretch and you grab my finger as if to say,”Don’t you DARE go anywhere mom- you’re mine, and I’m yours. We’re in this together.” And I pray,”Please, God- don’t let me forget this moment.”
I hear laughing (which is sometimes suspicious with boys), and I look in your room to see the two of you acting like whales- stretching up high while standing on the bed and “diving” onto the floor while making splashing sounds. I grab the camera to record the moment, but deep down I know that watching a video of this years from now won’t be the same, and I pray,”Please- don’t let me forget.”
Its been a long day- it usually is when you’re a stay at home mom, or a mom at all, for that matter- and I’m watching the clock intently, willing it to move faster. I look over to the living room and I see your 3 year old self, rocking out to The Backyardigans, complete with fantastic break dancing moves. I think to myself,”This is what keeps me from selling you on EBay.” You look at me, smile, and say,”Bee boop- I am a robot!” I sigh, and pray,”Please, God- don’t let me forget.”
You’ve had a long day- we both have, but somehow it seems to have been harder on you. I guess its tough being a toddler. 15 meltdowns, no nap, and a world record cry-fest, and you’re looking like you’ve gone a few rounds with a prize fighter- drained, red eyed, snot nosed, and ready to collapse. What I wouldn’t give for you to finally pass out so I can relax! You look at me, take take my hand, lead me to the rocker, and say in a shaky voice,”Hold you.” I pick you up, gather your once-smallish body onto my lap, and listen as your breathing gets deeper. I stare at your perfect face with the freckles I love sprinkled across your nose, much like your brother’s. I can practically see the moment when your tired body finally gives in to the exhaustion, as a small smile creeps onto your face. I breath deep, knowing that tomorrow will probably be the same as today and I pray,”Please, PLEASE, don’t let me forget this.”
You’ve got 3 older brothers with busy schedules; a busy mom and dad; and yet you smile through it all. I can tell you’ve been watching me intently today as I’ve been cleaning the disaster that is our home, and suddenly I hear your tiny voice say,”Sit with me.” I’ve still got floors to vacuum and counters to clean, but as I’m about to say,”In a little bit”, I realize I’ve been saying that to you all day. Cleaning IS important, but I realized that all day I had been saying,”Cleaning is more important than you”, so I sit down. You grab hold of my hand- much like your oldest brother did those many years ago- as if to say,”You aren’t going anywhere.” And I don’t. And I pray again,”Please, God- don’t let me forget.”